Issues and whatnot 9.2: A few final rejoinders…

For our final installment of the week, I have decided to raise fewer issues. However, I would like to devote a bit more space to them due to their relevancy vis-à-vis contemporary society. I will state for the record that I am neither a social scientist nor a philosopher (nor even a “cultural commentator” as some of my friends have contended- to be honest, I don’t even know what that title is supposed to mean). Rather, I take my cue from W.F. Buckley: whereas he was determined to “stand athwart history yelling ‘stop,’” I am content to sequester myself in the corner and chuckle at the inanity of it all.

Miscellaneous Thoughts

1.) What is the obsession with communication devices? What is the incessant demand for new and improved ways to project our daily lives to a nameless, faceless, mob of slack-jawed yokels for their viewing/listening pleasure? What is it in our nature that compels us to inform others as to what our dinner plans are or how excited we are about ABC’s new fall lineup? I think I know the answer: we are afraid of our own deafening silence. While I am lapsing into hyperbole, I think it is safe to say that we have lost our ability to think. The constant stream of input (bereft of quality content controls) is simply too much information to process in the short amount of time allowed. The result is a mindless chatter of background noise that is neither truly processed nor nominally processed; as such, it is absolutely worthless. Here is an interesting test for you: turn it off for a complete 24 hour period; no television (you may not record any shows during this time), no cell phone, no Twitter, no Facebook, no MySpace, no Internet. Let me know how this turns out for you.

2.) Is there a social classification known as “perpetually offended?” While I have spoken at length about the sheer waste of oxygen involved with this subject (thus perhaps compounding the problem), another thought has stuck me in the interim: how do these people have the time necessary to be constantly offended? Do they have regular jobs? Is their employer so “enlightened” that he or she will grant them a week’s paid vacation to go protest the fact that someone put four letters together on network television and thereby ensured the downfall of American society within the next six months? In a perverse sense, I suppose I envy them: I wish I had the extra time to waste as well as the emotional energy required to be personally offended on a daily basis. Perhaps someday I shall (as a note, I do not consider my blogs to be vehicles for expressing my offense at aspects of modern life; I view them simply as a means to vent my frustration and incredulity at a society that has been seriously degraded over the last fifty years).

3.) Perhaps I am being unreasonably old-fashioned here, but wouldn’t it serve their purpose better if the people who wax and rhapsodize about the “evils of nuclear power” actually learned something about the technology? Chernobyl was over 23 years ago, Three Mile Island was over thirty; for that matter, ask the average protester what happened at TMI and all you will likely hear is the ubiquitous phrase “it was a meltdown.” If time permits, go for broke and ask them exactly what the phrase means. A nuclear reactor plant is correctly described as the most complex system ever designed; it consists of more than a few canned phrases and “facts” learned from television. The sheer gall of such effrontery is amazing. I have always held out hope that people are generally decent and thoughtful, but displays of ignorance and outright stupidity have successfully worn me down over the years. It’s a simple process: when you are confronted with an idea or issue that does not sit well with you, take the time to learn something about it before you trumpet your moronic arguments to an equally dim-witted public.

I believe we shall conclude for now. I can feel my blood pressure rising and I wouldn’t want to deny the world my next series of tirades…

Issues and whatnot 9.1: Politics, money, and the media…

As we have hitherto dealt with mainly artistic topics, perhaps a shift of the gear towards politics, money, and the media is warranted. While it must be admitted that these areas fairly open themselves up on a daily basis to ridicule, I have listed below a few ice-breakers for the reader’s next boring cocktail party. Trust me, trot a few of these gems out and you’ll never be invited back (especially useful at pretentious affairs when you find yourself surrounded by half-wits and charlatans).

Politics

1.) “Straight-ticket voters;” if you are incapable of understanding anything about politics other than your parents were Democrats/Republicans and therefore you are as well, you do not deserve the vote. Rest assured that when I come to power (hey, it could happen), you will be denied such.

2.) Why do I see the same editorials day-in, day-out exhorting us to “throw the bums out,” only to heartily endorse the same tired candidates when election time rolls around? Why don’t people just admit they’re sheep and be done with the whole business?

3.) Democracy without a competency test for voting privileges is a bit like handing a toddler a revolver and assuming they will know how to use it safely (this one is virtually guaranteed to end your social life if you bring it up).

Money

1.) Gold, diamonds, and silver are worth a lot of money. Why? I would contend there is more value in a single painting by Kandinsky or a lone Haydn sonata than all the bullion in the U.S.

2.) While I used to be aghast at the outrageous salaries paid to professional athletes (mainly NBA/MLB/NFL types), perhaps I am misdirected: people are still willing to pay well over $100 to sit in an uncomfortable chair and watch other people play a game.

3.) There is much talk in some circles of “the redistribution of wealth” in the interests of helping one’s fellow traveler. Fine. You first.

Media

1.) Is there anything more amusing than the anger of the “traditional” media at the continued onslaught of “non-professionals?” In our society, journalists are roughly the moral equivalent of car thieves; merely reminding us that they are “professionals” does nothing to mitigate this perception.

2.) What high school student is in charge of picking the day’s headlines? Should the signing of a massive strategic defense agreement between Russia and China lose out to determining “Who’s the better doggy mommy: Joss Stone or Paris Hilton?” As a note, I wish I could say that I invented that example; unfortunately it is an actual front page line.

 3.) Why do they call them talk shows when a more appropriate name would be “shouting, interrupting, debasing, vilifying, name-calling, and overt idiocy shows?”

As before, fear not for more is yet to come…

Issues and whatnot 9.0: Literature, music, and theater…

While I would never contend that my opinions should occupy a place of primacy in the thoughts of others (ahem…), I would submit that on occasion the abstract manner in which I think and express myself is somewhat indecipherable. I enjoy thinking in both broad strokes and fine points; in short, a topic can be approached in any number of manners provided that the underlying reasoning is sound. Likewise, I have little tolerance for canned retorts (unless, of course, they stem from my own witty repartee) to valid arguments. My favorite examples of this sort of nonsense are “well, I think you’re oversimplifying the issues here,” or “you’re obviously a bit naïve as to the issues.”

Really?

Is this the best parry you could come up with on short notice when a viewpoint that differs from your own is brought into play? It’s a short step from this sort of idiocy to the ravings and obfuscations of the bloviating masses who contribute to web-based public forums (the majority of whom derive their thoughts from the gas of whatever political commentator is popular at the time). Let us then turn our attentions to the issues that most likely bother no one except me. The most obvious benefit of writing a blog is that I may air my grievances (to borrow a line) without having to depend on them for my daily Bordeaux. Therefore, the following are examples of issues that are currently bothering me and hence worthy of invective.

Literature

1.) Why do American High Schools venerate complete hacks like Nathanial Hawthorne, Jane Austen, and John Knowles at the expense of Goethe, Joseph Conrad, and William S. Burroughs?

2.) Why can I go to chain bookstores and find 30 copies of Valerie Bertinelli’s biography but not a single entry for J.S. Bach?

3.) Why is there such a thing as “abridged Shakespeare?” One does not trifle with perfection; if you are incapable of reading the original, you do not deserve to read good literature.

Music

1.) Why do concert goers tend to turn their noses up at modern compositions? To borrow a line, all music was “new” at some point.

2.) Why has Kenny G sold more albums this year than George Crumb has in his entire life?

3.) What is the fascination with the personal lives of the latest pop stars? Are we really that bereft that we need this sort of bread-and-circuses? Does anyone truly believe that future generations will ponder the wisdom of Lady Gaga’s choice of concert attire?

Theater

1.) How is it possible that musicals are considered legitimate theater?

2.) Why is “grand” Italian opera constantly restaged at the expense of non-Wagnerian German or Russian examples? Have the idiotic plots changed? Do the soprano roles no longer require a vibrato that vacillates nearly three-quarters of a tone? If not, perhaps a change of pace would be refreshing…

3.) Why does the theater celebrate Arthur Miller but virtually ignores T.S. Eliot? Along the same lines, how many times must one suffer through A Streetcar Named Desire before something by Jean Anouilh is staged?

Never fear, more to follow…