Issues and whatnot 9.0: Literature, music, and theater…

While I would never contend that my opinions should occupy a place of primacy in the thoughts of others (ahem…), I would submit that on occasion the abstract manner in which I think and express myself is somewhat indecipherable. I enjoy thinking in both broad strokes and fine points; in short, a topic can be approached in any number of manners provided that the underlying reasoning is sound. Likewise, I have little tolerance for canned retorts (unless, of course, they stem from my own witty repartee) to valid arguments. My favorite examples of this sort of nonsense are “well, I think you’re oversimplifying the issues here,” or “you’re obviously a bit naïve as to the issues.”

Really?

Is this the best parry you could come up with on short notice when a viewpoint that differs from your own is brought into play? It’s a short step from this sort of idiocy to the ravings and obfuscations of the bloviating masses who contribute to web-based public forums (the majority of whom derive their thoughts from the gas of whatever political commentator is popular at the time). Let us then turn our attentions to the issues that most likely bother no one except me. The most obvious benefit of writing a blog is that I may air my grievances (to borrow a line) without having to depend on them for my daily Bordeaux. Therefore, the following are examples of issues that are currently bothering me and hence worthy of invective.

Literature

1.) Why do American High Schools venerate complete hacks like Nathanial Hawthorne, Jane Austen, and John Knowles at the expense of Goethe, Joseph Conrad, and William S. Burroughs?

2.) Why can I go to chain bookstores and find 30 copies of Valerie Bertinelli’s biography but not a single entry for J.S. Bach?

3.) Why is there such a thing as “abridged Shakespeare?” One does not trifle with perfection; if you are incapable of reading the original, you do not deserve to read good literature.

Music

1.) Why do concert goers tend to turn their noses up at modern compositions? To borrow a line, all music was “new” at some point.

2.) Why has Kenny G sold more albums this year than George Crumb has in his entire life?

3.) What is the fascination with the personal lives of the latest pop stars? Are we really that bereft that we need this sort of bread-and-circuses? Does anyone truly believe that future generations will ponder the wisdom of Lady Gaga’s choice of concert attire?

Theater

1.) How is it possible that musicals are considered legitimate theater?

2.) Why is “grand” Italian opera constantly restaged at the expense of non-Wagnerian German or Russian examples? Have the idiotic plots changed? Do the soprano roles no longer require a vibrato that vacillates nearly three-quarters of a tone? If not, perhaps a change of pace would be refreshing…

3.) Why does the theater celebrate Arthur Miller but virtually ignores T.S. Eliot? Along the same lines, how many times must one suffer through A Streetcar Named Desire before something by Jean Anouilh is staged?

Never fear, more to follow…